Catharsis
She was running with a fast pace, her brain racing along. She somehow wanted to rein in her agitating mind.The gym did not help.The desert in her heart raised the mist which seemed to be
choking her. She was
fearing whether she would ever
be able to thaw her heart which had turned as hard as the rock of
Gibraltar , indifferent to human emotions.
The garden around her was in full bloom.It
was spring.
It was spring when she had met Amit a suave and graceful boy who with his somber voice and attractive persona stole her heart. She
was quite a bindas girl and engrossed in
her world of books and academics. But Amit took hold of her
imagination and all her dream characters got morphed into this one character
who breathed and enlivened the ambience around her.She got wrapped up by him
like the silk worm in its cocoon.She was not a worldly wise girl who could
balance equitably her own interests and her total immersion in the identity of Amit.She was
raw and her love at nascent stage.
She invested in him not only her emotions but put herself at the mercy of his manipulative responses. He
pulled at her strings and she danced to his tunes.She was the reed filled with
the love notes of her satyr.The days flew and her dreams burnished.The Gulmohar and the white
flower bunches of acacia bloomed in the air giving wings to her . She built castles in the air .There was no care for who
spent where and what. But gradually she noticed that the man was quite stingy when he had to spend on her. He had a
marvellous sense of justifying the uselessness of overspending when it happened to be she. .But she took it
in her stride as the normal hiccups in such an informal relationship.She let the clouds mist her eyes
and floated in the fairy romance of Cinderella and the princess of The Sleeping Beauty .Sometimes the clouds
darkened but she wafted through them into the delicate silken web of juvenile
love and romance.The man was adept at such games.He loosened the dor of patang
and let her soar hanging on the strings.
She withdrew from the world and somehow he became the receptacle of all
her human emotions.Like the blazing Sun her love got condensed in that one incandescence that
was he. The man rejoiced and to some
extent was indulgent.His neo-sophistication had rendered him quite pliable.
He was there with his clawed in hands knotted and twisted but well manicured and his downcast looks were A avoiding her eyes..He
seemed to be in a hurry.He had to leave abroad and she was there before him
with her blazing eyes and bewildered expression .He was telling her that they were
not compatible for each other and with a
nervous and sneering haste he wanted to disentangle himself and was eager to
leave the place. She looked at him in a dazed manner and was the first to leave the venue without looking back.
She had finished her running .she would go and have her hair cut because they had grown unruly since
she hardly paid any attention to them lately but they came over her eyes which
annoyed her. Today she thought of visiting her siblings .She felt the clang of the iron in
her soul . Suddenly the face of her
sister came before her eyes. She recalled one incident. Her little sister was engrossed in something in her hand.
She asked her what she was doing .She said that she had borrowed some wool from
her aunt and would knit her a scarf. Those were the hard
days for them and her little sister too lacked in sufficient warm clothing.
After a long time she felt a stab at her heart and her eyes moistening, she suddenly broke into a sob. She desperately wanted to
hug her sister.
She felt something melting inside her, only she could not see it, it was the muck .It
flowed and she felt light. Was that the catharsis then?
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