Canvas
She tried to get up from her bed.It was going to be
evening.The sun was almost setting but the intense summer heat was all
consuming.She jerked her gnarled hands and thrust her feet into her well- worn out
slippers which were now loose and ill-fitting.she was a little disjointed as to
her next move.Well she had to push off to the near- by park.prior to this she
had tried her best to dig into the note book which she always had along side.nothing
seemed to be materializing.A non-sense compulsion of repulsive obsession.A slow
breeze was building up stealithly trying
to pierce the invisible hot sheets of
burning air.She quickly changed into her shoes.They were the sturdy branded
sports shoes left behind by her child who was away from home.She had many pairs
of these branded shoes which were bought by her child from time to time to make
a show of each and go for newer ones.She would only look at the rows with
drooped jaws and wonder in her eyes.They brought into her a strange ennui a
déjà vu which took her back to her olden
days when she would be poring over the old classics and juggle with T.s.Eliots
The Waste Land. The deep western ennui
originating from material opulence and numbing indifference to human
emotions had not yet entered the Indian psyche.The verses emanated the dark humours of utter despondency.That
time it acted as a drug to indulge her raw feelings which did not touch the
seminal core of the human sensitivity.But now looking at the rows of these branded shoes and the innumerable cluster of
objects of the same genre a deep and dense plume of vacuity enveloped her.
She tied her laces which she never knew how to do them.She
never disturbed the twisted maze but
only tugged and pulled at them till they secured her feet and enabled her to
march forth on the rough and tumble side
walks of her park going round and round till her patience gave way and she took
shelter under some groaning dust laden tree standing on the sides of the
pathway. She rested the phone in her lap
though she never made use of it. There was hardly a call she would receive but
she carried it as per habit ,it being a part of the rest of her accoutrements and generally she brought it to check the
time.But now she looked into it.There
rose a strong urge to check the message site.And then suddenly she
wanted to take a snap and forward it to one of her close acquaintances but she
stopped haif –way.She looked at her picture in the camera roll which she had
forwarded to her child .The picture was a wedding photograph of her and the
bride.’you look a mouse. At least you should have applied some make up to cover
up the drabness and the hollowness of your aging persona’ .In the bright light
of the outdoors She looked at the picture
with the renewed eyes of her child.The eyes had a sunken appearance and the look was vacant but
had a strange craven look,the lips were
pressed hard perhaps to press out the surrounding wrinkles which as a result
had flattened out the mouth making the chin prominent.She laughed.Her face was
an apt canvas to be painted in any original way.She herself wished to enliven it
with brushes and such make up tools
which could reflect the arrogance and the pseudo-sophistry of the
society around her and she could gell
with the whispering phantoms in the
group who curtained off the moulded decay of age and neglect.
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